You and I both know we have this love-hate relationship. Whether we’ve admitted it or not. There are days where we are more alike than we realize, and then there are days where I, well, not so much loving vibes.
Because I don’t like change. At all. In fact, change is my most powerful weakness. Whether its new people in my life, circumstances or plans, and even feelings; change I do not handle well. So when you came into her life, as any girl best friend, we were very excited. This meant she might not have to be a lonely cat woman, which to some extent was disappointing. I was so happy that someone could be there for her when I can’t, which is sadly more times I’d like to admit. Yet if there is one thing I know for sure, it is you will never leave her. Even if things don’t end up working out, I know you will still be there.
As that happiness settled in, the idea that I now shared my Shelby was off putting. Eventually, she would turn to you for her mind boggling thoughts first. You would be the one to come over and comfort her when she feels sad or lonely. In time, we would not be messaging each other every time of the day. You went with her to prom and not me.
Ultimately, I felt put aside, or a follower. I followed you two as you held hands and skipped into the sunset. Selfishly sometimes, I wished to maybe budge myself in the middle. I introduce you to, my not so great side. The over thinker, jealous, dramatic sense of self. It comes up more than I would like. It overpowers the happy, grateful, optimistic person I typically am.
But you became her Dean (Her favorite boyfriend of Rory’s out of the 3 in Gilmore Girls). And I became Lane in that episode where she freaked out because Rory had school, and Dean, and I’m 432 miles away. Sure, a bit of balance would help but it’s the relationship between the best friend’s boyfriend and best friend. You can either be rivals, constantly competing for her affection and attention, or you can be the British and Americans. Where we shake hands, and agree to help out one another from time to time. To agree to not over price the tea.
I don’t hate you. I actually very much like you. You are kind and caring, thoughtful, and just crazy enough to deal with her on a caffeine buzz. Which is always. Plus, you get my Star Wars obsession because you have one too. But she doesn’t. So we’ve made sure to strap her to the chair and make her watch every single one. And that big feast we plan to do someday with the mutual internet friend and all be a big happy family with bags of Doritios and banana pudding? How does July of next year work out for you?
But thanks to you, I now understand what it feels like to say “You guys are so cute, now excuse me while I go vomit.” And the official first date was more than entertaining to hear about.
There is is only one time where I had to say, hurt her, and I will hurt you. But I’m fully confident you never will. And I’d rather you be here for her, than to not. I have a feeling if we were more than internet friends/ my best friend’s boyfriend, we would be great friends.
Thank you, for never giving up. It took a few years to convince her, but you never gave up. I know you love her, and I know she loves you. You are her first love, and I can say confidently she will always love you.
To wrap this sappy letter up, thanks for keeping my sanity in check from time to time. I hope you are satisfied with your choice of girlfriend and her best friends trio because you are stuck with us. You are but a more loving teddy bear like Luke in the presence of Lorelai and Rory. And so with this letter I am either trying to be really sweet, apologetic, and sentimental; or avoiding confrontation.
To my new readers, welcome to my humble home! I am so glad you have joined our crazy family… Some of you may be able to relate to this? Let me know in the comments below! And welcome Austin, does this letter sound a bit tense? Probably. But I truly do mean loving warm honest vibes. Though whatever warm lovable feelings came with honesty?
Also I have a very exciting announcement as well… This has been a process in the making but it is now I feel official to say, I AM GOING TO PERU! This is so exciting because it will be my first time overseas and the first step of my desire to travel. I have been raising money and am half way there! I leave on July 22nd and will be staying for a week where I’ll be working in an orphanage, sight seeing, learning to surf…all very fun things. If you know any travel tips or travel blogs to check out that would be great!
Love you all bunches
My last post
My last book in my book club Words in Between The Lines
My photography gallery down below on my main page!