Happy birthday to me! The mantra “new year, new me” has been taken quite literally these past couple weeks of 2017 as I just turned eighteen years old. I’ve been given lovely gifts by many people… I couldn’t love my guardian angel pin from the boyfriend or the quality time I spent with my grandpa at a Pink Floyd tribute laser show more. However, my mind has decided to also give me a gift wrapped with golden wrapping paper and a huge bow taped on top. Inside it shakes and scratches begging to come out as if its a new kitten (I wish). No, inside comes exploding an overwhelming to-do list into adulthood! All the things I knew I should’ve been dealing with before the big 18 starts itching up towards the top of my Things To Think About list before I go to sleep; Start driving, study for the biggest test of your life, apply for a job, change your mind about your major, where your relationship is going as you approach college.
But all I want to do is suppress, suppress, suppress, listen to the new Ed Sheeran song, and re-watch Gilmore Girls (unhealthy tip #1, Watch another girl’s problems and stress to distract you from your own). This new introduction to adulthood is exciting but also so scary and there’s so much to do! As I suffer with anxiety this piled up list seems impossible… I’m completely overwhelmed and each task does not seem small so I can work myself up. But I feel happy to say, after much encouragement, I have officially registered for my SATs. I only wish I wasn’t the worst test taker in the world. But enough about me! I’m fine… *nervous laughter in the distance* I am here to help you because I’m sure someone out there is also struggling with the motivation to get started.
For one, I spend so much time on social media admiring and envying other peoples “successful” lives (unhealthy tip #2, if you want to feel bad about yourself and be ungrateful, scroll through Instagram). We can all agree, there is so many good things about social media and the number one thing is connection. Connection between your neighbors, friends across town or the world, family, and your favorite beauty guru. But in reality, it’s not a reality at all. You are looking through a pinhole view of someone’s life in which they’ve picked out all the “flaws” within that photograph. I know if I wanted to show off my new book in a cool setting I would need to clean my not so tidy room. Of course that’s only a very mild example. You are told this every day by the activist who has a car and money to go wherever they want whenever they want. I think that’s why I find it so suffocating and addicting for me, I crave this adventure and socialization. Because I’m so limited, I feel the closest I can get to it is through my phone under my bed covers. I know when I would feel extra lonely I would turn to YouTube because these people felt like my friends. In a way, this can be good but toxic and is shaping an unhealthy generation.
Little do we really know, if we put our effort into it and just look around, there is so much to see. The first step is always the hardest and in some situations you don’t know what you’re about to step on. However, the first step is already done! You want to be more motivated, you want to get stuff done, you want to change your lifestyle. That desire will put you into motion, but you make it happen! It could simply be throwing those covers off, stepping out of bed, making breakfast and tea/coffee, eating your breakfast outside on your porch… Since I am homeschooled, a lot of days I just lack the energy to even open my eyes. Something I really find helpful is having that support or helping hand. Whether its your daily morning devotional or what I do is I have my boyfriend call me early so I’ll at least be awake.
This whole post may be hypocritical of me to share and try to support you in something I myself am struggling with, but I feel like those who struggle together can rejoice together all the same ❤ It’s been a year since I’ve started this blog and it sure has slowed down these past couple months, but I love nothing more to sit here and talk with you guys. I hope this post has motivated you the same way it’s motivated me. Feel free to comment down below your thoughts and support 🙂
Motivational Songs, Books, and More
- All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven
- Me Before You by JoJo Moyes
- Just One Day by Gayle Foreman